finding the gems

this is something i just wrote for a friend of mine for the Get in Gwangju Newsletter. definitely starting the reflection process...less than two weeks left as of today.

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When I left San Francisco for Korea almost a year ago, I had the requisite party one has when moving half-way across the globe for a year. Friends from far and wide made it to one of my favorite cozy spots in the city to bid me well on this wild adventure. One of my dearest friends said to me, as we shared a tearful goodbye, “You know, so many people love and care about you here, and when you leave Korea, you’ll find that just as many people love and care about you there. They’ll be just as sad to see you go. My guess is that you’ll have a goodbye party just like this one when your year is done.” Hmm. “Maybe,” I thought. I was skeptical at best. I had no idea what I was getting myself into in moving to Gwangju, Korea. How could I possibly go somewhere so foreign for just one year and have the same strong connections as I have with people at home? Why I ever doubted such a thing, I’ll never know, for, in just one week, I will have much the same farewell party in the city of Gwangju as I did in my city by the bay. Imagine that.

Every minute of every day in Korea has been an adventure – exhausting, sometimes frustrating, but always an adventure. I am walking away with some of the most powerful gifts I have ever received, and I owe much of it to the phenomenon of the unexpected that so infuses our life as foreigners in Korea.

I’ve gathered several “year in Korea” gems along this path. First and foremost, this: live and breathe here with no expectations and find a way to laugh at every turn. Nothing will ever be as you assume it to be, and to be honest, it shouldn’t be. We are guests in a country and a culture that is gorgeous and profound, but often perplexing and downright frustrating in its incongruence and inconsistency. But we are still guests. When we expect things to be just as they are wherever we hail from, we invariably find ourselves at a loss. If we can let go of wanting things to be “same-same” as what it is we knew, we can embrace the hilarity and beauty of this place and truly relish the fact that we live in KOREA!

And that leads me to my next “year in Korea” gem: find the gift in every situation. Every event in our lives presents us with a choice. We can choose to be angry or resentful or have any number of negative reactions, or we can choose to see our current situation as a gift. I know this can be a trite and cliché sentiment, but I have never believed in something as strongly as I do having lived in Korea. Of course, it’s easier said than done when your boss is asking for another 10 hours a week from you and you’ve just gotten your 10^th head cold in 2 months. While the wacky ways of Korea are certainly funny, life here can be incredibly challenging and deeply depressing at times – at least it was for me. So, gem number three: give yourself space for the emotions you have and make taking care of yourself a priority. Whatever your experiences may inspire in you, let it be. But do your best to not allow yourself or your year (or two, or three) here be defined by those emotions. Everything changes by the second here, so be willing to let go of the attachment to whatever has just happened. Let it float away like those cherry blossoms that have been falling for the past few weeks.

Korea has been a wild trip. When I go to that goodbye party next weekend and have my final day of classes, I will be sad to say goodbye to all the amazing people I have met and the beautiful country I have come to love. But all that I have accomplished, learned, and seen and the fabulous friendships I’ve created here will always remain with me. I leave Korea knowing something pretty important – if you open yourself up to the good stuff in life, it just keeps coming.